Female.
18.
NewYork.
Favorite Color: Blue.
Short; 5'5".
A Day To Remember.
Country Music.
Sex.
Tattoos.
Love.
Trolling..
AND
It’s really frustrating for me to sit here and have people abuse my friendship. I love being there for the people I call my friends, but it’s heartbreaking when it seems like I’m always the butt of their jokes. My weed is my weed, Me offering to smoke you up is a fucking honor and you better treat it that way. If I offer to give you a ride home, don’t make me go spontaneously out of my way for you. I’ve gotten to the point where every time someone in my life wastes my time and money, they will pay me. If I’m smoking with them and they blow out the bowl, they’ll have to pay five dollars because that’s like throwing a shot for every person out the window. It’s called respect. I can be respectful if you can act respectful.
I can not tell you how happy I am going to be on graduation when I get to see my birth dad for the first time. I’ll be able to stand in between my mom and my dad, it’ll be like something I never had.
Do you think I decided one day to be like this? No, I fucking didn’t.
I’d do anything if it meant I could get rid of this, it’s an illness and it ruins you.
I’m ruined, down to this fucking depression. All my thoughts are contaminated by it. Kindly shut the fuck up.
(Source: mymist4ke, via blooded-dreams)
I don’t get it, It seems like everyone is winning but I keep losing. People can go out and get the same piercings I have and yet get a job I can’t. What do I keep doing wrong? I don’t have friends who want to hang out with me so I can work anytime. I have a car, I can get to work on time. I’m able to forget about all my issues and do work I have to do. I don’t have anyone to text so I won’t be texting during my hours. I love organizing and talking to people is entertaining. I don’t get it. Everyone goes to parties now with their circle of friends while I’m at home and no one even asks what I’m doing at night. I go out of my way for people, i give what I can. No one seems to notice it. I may be blunt at some times but that’s because everyone is so fucking shady with me that they can’t even tell me the truth about if they actually like me. They just ditch me and make me look like an idiot, hundreds of times. I hate people who are anti drugs/straightedge. I don’t care that you think drugs are bad and that people who use them are dangerous, because honestly if it wasn’t for drugs, you wouldn’t be reading this. Whenever I smoke, I forget that I’m disappointing my parents more and more by having no friends. I feel like I am the only entity that I will ever have to worry about. No one cares enough to ever listen, even if they say they do. Everyone’s caught up in their own lives, and it’s gotten to the point where I have to beg people to hang out with me. They never even do. My birthday is going to tragic for me, but I won’t act like it. Everyone’s going to be caught up in talking about themselves, no one wants to know how I’m feeling about things. I’m sick of people telling me they can relate to what I’m going through. No one can ever relate to what I’m going through, no one has the same chemical fuck ups in their head in the same formula as I do. No one knows how it feels to react to what I experience. They may have had something similar happen to then, but they aren’t me. They don’t know how I feel when I react to what I am going through. I don’t fair well to pity.
